Every good thing comes with a price. To achieve anything of significance involves great effort. Genuine change requires “blood, sweat and tears”. These are some of the ideas I grew up with.
People who take the streets to protest want to express their opinion about something they don’t agree with. They might find comfort and strength in a shared perspective with others. The conviction that RESISTANCE creates CHANGE fuels them.
I experienced it myself. When I wanted to change something in my day-to-day life, my natural response has been to show resistance to the current situation. I believed I did the right thing. I needed to express what isn’t wanted in order to change it. A situation, a relationship, or even myself? Yet, it felt like pushing the bolder up the mountain. Exhausting, painful and burdensome.
But maybe there is a different way?
The need to feel better
As mentioned, I grew up with the idea that when I want something I have to show determination and effort to get it.
As a kid, I had to behave and bury my impatience before I can get my favorite ice cream. As a young teenager, I had to work the entire summer school holiday to buy myself a new camera. As an adult, I had to finish up a stressful customer project before I can go on vacation.
When I achieve something, I get a sense of gratification and fulfillment. I feel great and in harmony with the world. But what if I do not get what I want?
I get upset, become impatient and maybe try even harder to get it. I put more of my resources into it. If it is a big desire of mine, I might experience strong emotions and start acting “irrational” and reckless.
A good example is trading with crypto currencies. Because of the great volatility, a lot of money can be made and lost quickly. E.g., if I plan to finance my next dream vacation with the proceeds of my crypto investments, and right before I want to sell, the market crashes. That might tempt me to be more risk tolerant in the short term to make up for the lost opportunity and still go for the planned vacation.
RESISTANCE is born out of a specific desire and associated unwanted or contrasting situation. A desire to cling to an idea or identity. Something that was is not anymore. The situation just provides proof that this is the case.
Being against something surfaces an emotional reaction. When I experience frustration, anger, fear etc. I start to blame the current situation. I make it responsible for the way I feel. Hence, I want to change it so that I can feel better
I focus all my attention and energy towards a short-term change of that situation. This is when I start to feel the effects of being in resistance. I become anxious, reckless and exhausted.
The idea that wants to get exposed
Especially in very emotionally charged situations, it is difficult to recognize that my reactions are not due to the outside situation, but rather due to my interpretation of it. Powerful emotions are narrowing my field of awareness. When I am fearful, all I am focusing on is that what causes me to be fearful. Therefore, I lose sight of the bigger picture or the context of my situation.
My situation or experience is following a subjective understanding of the world. Therefore, it emerges out of the field of ideas. Ideas that give me a sense of identity and self.
Those ideas form my lens of interpretation. Like any kind of unique idea can form the creation of art or new inventions, the ideas of self are supporting the formation of my everyday life circumstances.
The stronger my felt resistance, the stronger my attachment towards the associated “original idea”. It is an idea I grew up with. An idea I have been cultivating for quite some time and incorporated into my fabric of self-identity. Yet, I might have never consciously come across it.
E.g.: “I have not enough”
The idea of “not having enough” shows up and confirms itself in my “day to day” experience. Repeating circumstances solidify that idea until it is being challenged. But who or what is challenging?
It is an opposing, contrasting idea. E.g.: “I have more than enough”.
Over time, the tiny internal argument between two ideas becomes a noticeable debate. It comes with increasing tension and emotional reaction. What was hidden in the background before is now amplified and put on center stage.
Looking at my earlier crypto currency example. The underlying motivation to trade digital currencies might not have come from the desire to find an ease way to finance a dream vacation but rather from a more disguised and underlying idea. The idea of “not having enough”.
It is my RESONANCE with that idea that causes the deception of feeling resistant against the current situation.
Resonance in terms of physics has something to do with vibration, frequency, oscillations and increasing amplitudes. Every object has one particular frequency it vibrates in. It is called “natural frequency”. When one object vibrates at that natural frequency of a second object, the second object starts to vibrate. Eventually, the second objects oscillations increase in amplitude with each oscillation.
A good example is the oscillation of a wine glass through sound waves. A wine glass (object one) has a specific frequency and will align with an “outside” vibration which matches that frequency. The second object which articulates that vibration could be my voice (object two). The wine glass respond with oscillations that increase in amplitude.
Coming back to the “contrasting ideas”. It is me who is fostering the debate by creating resonance. While I think I am resisting a current life situation, I am actually resonating with an underlying idea which now wants to get exposed. It is the original idea of: “I have not enough”.
The self-induced desire for change
In my cyclical process of creating resonance, every time I feel uncomfortable with a situation, I try to move my attention into a different direction. Yet, once the oscillation surpasses a certain amplitude level, the ongoing “debate” between the contrasting ideas become “audible” to me. (Check out my blog: “The Leap from Repetition to Creativity”) That “audible” vibration expresses itself in felt tension and emotional charge.
My emotional response is a disguised invitation to look beyond the judged situation.
Once I have accepted that invitation, I can move into the space of AWARENESS which can unravel the underlying original idea.
I might feel a “pause” in the process, as I’m not forcing the resolution of my current situation. I rather stay in that space of “pause” and ENGAGEMENT. That engagement allows for deeper levels of awareness through the process of DISCOVERY.
Going through the process, I might realize that I have created my own discomfort. A decreasing conviction but increasing resonance with the “original idea”. It all started ones I compared it to the opposing idea. (check out my blog: “Contrast – The Art of Creating Tension”)
I might discover that the ideas have contrasting qualities. The opposing idea (“I have more than enough”) plays the role of the unifier. While the original idea (“I have not enough”) plays the role of the separator.
As I open myself to a broader context to include both perspectives, they gently move closer and closer together until they dissolve into REALIZATION. The belief that resistance is the only way for change, falls into absurdity.
As I recognize the SELF-ORGANIZING and -SUPPORTING nature of my EXPERIENCE, my need to invest force and effort to change an unwanted situation softens. I MOVE RESISTANCE into RESONANCE to create clarity and to experience lightness in my continuous process of change.
